The constant does not exist..

They say that for a successful fishing trip one needs to find the right lure. If one gives the previous statement some further thought you will realize that life is pretty similar to fishing.

Since the time we open our eyes as a new born, consciously or subconsciously we look out for that one constant factor who will always be there with and for us irrespective of the situations and make our lives a success.

This one constant factor may be our parents, siblings, our friends and so on. As the years go by the search for this constant is the only thing that remains the same. Some of the various reasons for this search to be an ongoing one would be the constant embarking his or her journey to the afterlife, us or the constant were having different expectations from life etc.

No matter how hard we try to be independent and unattached, subconsciously the only thing that matters to us is to have that one person in our life, the one who will be there and never bail out on us. In a vain attempt to achieve this we often try to be the constant in that person’s life irrespective of his or her wishes.

The faster we understand that no matter how hard we try, life is structured in a different way and has an agenda of her own. In order to find some solace we should stop denying the true facts, as they say that “denial is the worst form of delay” and accept the fact that “The constant does not exist”

Good things have to fall apart to make way for better things to happen......

Over the years, I have always been inquisitive to know how it would feel to be in the shoes of a person who arrives in an unknown city with big dreams to take on the world, achieve excellence etc. I have always looked with admiration and awe at the characters in movies doing so, my friends from different cities working in Mumbai, friends from Mumbai who have travelled to places in and outside the country in the pursuit of their dreams.

Commitments and circumstances never gave me a window to experience this thrill of travelling to an unknown place, start afresh, and establish myself and stuff like that. Just a few moments ago in an attempt to overcome my boredom, I started thinking about my experiences over the years and suddenly it dawned upon me that I have experienced similar thrills many a times. It was just that I did not realize the fact then.

I realized that in most of those experiences I was in an unknown territory and had somehow managed to scrape through. It occurred to me that with each experience, I was taking few more steps toward what I am destined to achieve about which I may not have a clear picture at this point of time. It also dawned upon me that I should not worry about it as “GOD has mysterious ways and we are just the pawns on his chess board”.

You will now say that it is impossible to stay positive and have faith that good things will happen, when at regular intervals your case is being royally taken and all the good things that you have worked so hard for are falling apart. In the words of Ted Mosby (HIMYM) it is possible to do so when you start believing that “Good things have to fall apart to make way for better things to happen”

I hope whoever reads this post derives some inspiration from it and it helps them to take a few steps towards their goal to get into this zone in which they are at peace and irrespective of the happenings around them are happy and content with life.

Amen

Remember that frightening moment of your fall

Just recently in a situation where, about six months ago I would have been totally ill at ease, I found myself thanking the Almighty for the blessings he had bestowed upon me. This one of a kind reaction to the situation kind of surprised me and at the same time got me curious to find out the reason behind the same.

After reliving the last six months of my life in a split second, I was reminded of all the falls that I had taken in what I would rate as the worst phase of my life and of me constantly begging in front of the Almighty for no repeats as long as I live. At the same time I was also reminded about the bounty that the Almighty had blessed me with during this ongoing struggle, which included the gift of some extraordinary friends who I am indebted for life, some amazing life altering lessons, a green signal to some long overdue plans etc.

A few more introspecting moments later, I realized that the reason I had ended up thanking the Almighty was because I had learnt to appreciate and enjoy what I had rather than being upset over what I felt,I deserved to have. This was because the time I felt that I was out of my comfort zone, I was sub-consciously reminded of my struggle in the last six months and how comfortable I was now as compared to those times.

All I am trying to say to the readers of this post is that whenever u feel that things aren’t the way they should be and that life’s being unfair, In order to appreciate and enjoy all that you are blessed with, think of time when even you weren’t able to put money on yourself, the time when the world around you was falling apart, remember that frightening moment of your fall.

Dream on!!!!!

“Your every Monday ko diet pe jaa rahaa hoon waala type resolution!! Gimme a break bro”

This message from my sister in the midst of a time pass discussion got me thinking, that all of us at some point in our lives have made some plans which we are not able to execute no matter how hard we try. This is the most commonly occurring phenomenon in our lives and sometimes makes us feel like a loser, a good for nothing and so on. I would be lying if I say that the thought that, I am about to share with you guys was a member of my school of thought for a very long time.

Quite often when the most commonly occurring phenomenon occurs, we go into a negative mode and in order to ensure that we don’t feel the same pain again we say that “we will not expect anything ever”. In the process of expecting less we confuse the two terms “dreams and expectations” to be the same and stop dreaming as often we used to earlier.

We do not realize that this ability to dream is a gift and is something that gives us hope and also keeps us going in normal and the toughest of situations. The trial and error situations that we get into, while pursuing our dreams however big or small helps us ascertain what exactly we want in life and helps us get there eventually. One example to back my last statement would be of a person with a few failed relations in the past still dreams to meet “the one” and it’s this dream that makes him continue his search.

There is no harm in dreaming as it will not cause any damage in the time to come. So without taking more of your time and giving you all some time to think about what I have said earlier I will end this post by saying two words “Dream on!!!!!”

Fewer expectations = Lesser problems = A content and a happier life

As I have stated in a couple of my previous posts man is a social animal and constantly thrives to build relationships with the people around him. As this process continues the people involved in any kind of relationships also develop expectations that they expect themselves and the people involved to fulfill.

Fulfilling expectations and having your expectations fulfilled is a two step process and either one of the steps not being completed leads to problems. I will not quote any example as the list is infinite and all of you understand what I am trying to convey.

At the start, even I was not clear about the objective of this post as everyone was aware that having expectations was the cause of all problems. However it dawned upon me that even this problem had a very simple solution though not 100 percent foolproof.

The solution is that we should become self dependant (expect only from ourselves) in all the activities that we are capable of handling by ourselves and not depend on anyone for their presence, support etc. By doing so not only the completion of the activity will be on or before time, but also our peace of mind will be intact and we will be more relaxed and happier most of the times.

Thus the formulae for a more content and a happier life is : Fewer expectations = Lesser problems = A content and a happier life.

Identify the diamonds amongst the various pieces of coal

Happiness is a journey that begins in our childhood. As the years go by, man being a social animal concludes that more the people you have in your social circle the higher is your degree of happiness and security.

I was a firm believer of the above rule for more then the last two decades, however some reality checks in the last three months totally changed my belief. The horrifying experience of going under the surgeon’s knife and the on going recovery period post that made me realize that the above belief is not actually correct.

I realized that all our lives we spend investing in relationships which are not as truthful and genuine as we think they are. The lowest phases in our lives, though painful help us identify the genuineness of the relationships that we share with people and help us identify the diamonds amongst the various pieces of coal in a mine.

The people who help us stand when we are not able to do so on our own; the people who believe in our abilities even when we ourselves doubt them, the people who stay with us even after seeing us in our worst forms are the diamonds that we should separate from the bulk of coal around us. We should make constant efforts to polish these diamonds and make sure that they are shining to the best of their abilities when we are celebrating life.

All I am trying to say is irrespective of the fact that there is no guarantee that these people may be with us in the future taking into account the uncertainties of life, we should make sure that we do everything in our power to maintain our relationships with them and be there for them to the best of our abilities. We should always remember the fact that when it was dark, they chose to use their spark and shine to show us the way.

Life’s a Gift…. Enjoy it….

Quiet often with the experiences that we have had, all of us detest the life that has been given to us by the Almighty. By experiences I meant, something as minor as a job problem, an issue with a loved one or something as major as a health issue.

While facing these challenges we humans, build up a defense mechanism around us that we feel will keep us safe and no longer allow anyone or anything to affect us. An example of this would be to mould oneself to be totally materialistic and not emotional etc.

I too was headed the same way until a fortnight ago when I woke up post my surgery. Attempting to check myself thoroughly in that semi conscious state to see if everything was fine, the only words that came out were “O, Allah give me good health". Trust me at that point of time good health was the only thing that mattered. The correct blink of the eye, being able to stand on your feet, the proper movement of the various joints etc was more precious than anything else on the globe.

The point I am driving here is that very often while pursuing our worldly goals, we often forget how blessed we are with gifts whose value we don’t recognize, with the gift of people who love us and who pray for us and who we hurt because of our stupid beliefs etc. All of us have had our share of life defining moments and we should take a breather and regularly revisit that moment as they help us in realizing the true value of these gifts. By doing so we will get a chance to reiterate to ourselves that “Life’s a Gift…. Enjoy it….”