It’s the worst when we doubt our own……

12.32 pm Tuesday afternoon as the train headed towards Thane from Matunga station, I started looking for a seat to sit and start reading the newspaper that I had just purchased. My eyes spotted a vacant window seat but the sight of a black office bag adjacent to the window halted my hurry to reach the seat.

Whose bag is this? I asked, while attempting to identify a suspicious face amongst the various faces around, that I had made a mental note of. “This bag is mine son!” said an old man seated exactly opposite the vacant seat reading some notes he had made out of an astrology book.

Though relieved, I continued observing the bag’s owner with suspicious thoughts such as “If this was his bag, why didn’t he keep it with him initially? Why do people have to be so inconsiderate about other people’s feelings? Etc. While I was playing the role of this security guard screening for individuals with anti social elements, the man continued the reading of his notes with this look of internal peace and calm on his face.

Two more stations passed and I continued the screening without knowing the reason or the objective behind this one off routine. It could have been a spontaneous reaction to the recent horrifying news about the blast at the famous bakery in pune.Finally attempting to divert my thoughts to the newspaper, I started updating my self about our “Little Master’s” latest achievement at the Eden in Kolkatta but without success. This guilt of picturing this elderly man as anti social started killing me from inside.

As I exited the station on completing a significant part of my journey to office, the guilt of doubting some one who was my own accompanied me towards it. Though, I had never met him before nor were we related, we shared the same soil at our respective roots (both of us were Indians).

As the day went by I couldn’t get the afternoon’s incident off my mind. It got me thinking that how many times in our lives do we doubt the ones close to us. Let’s say a married couple doubting each other’s loyalty, a friend doubting the other’s intentions in a matter of common interest etc…We do it all the time.

I am yet to meet anyone who claims that he has never doubted anyone nor will I be able to comment on the reason why we do it, guess we are born that way. Those of us who would give this topic a thought may want to press the panic button as there is no permanent solution available. However once we know that the problem exists or may crop up in the future we can make provisions to minimise the impact e.g. make conscious efforts to give others a fair chance before forming a notion that would be with us that moment onwards, proactively make efforts to set and maintain an open and a truth based foundation in all our relationships etc….

All I am trying to say is be open minded, demand and give others the required space, be true to yourself and reiterate again and again that It’s the worst when we doubt our own……