Identify the diamonds amongst the various pieces of coal

Happiness is a journey that begins in our childhood. As the years go by, man being a social animal concludes that more the people you have in your social circle the higher is your degree of happiness and security.

I was a firm believer of the above rule for more then the last two decades, however some reality checks in the last three months totally changed my belief. The horrifying experience of going under the surgeon’s knife and the on going recovery period post that made me realize that the above belief is not actually correct.

I realized that all our lives we spend investing in relationships which are not as truthful and genuine as we think they are. The lowest phases in our lives, though painful help us identify the genuineness of the relationships that we share with people and help us identify the diamonds amongst the various pieces of coal in a mine.

The people who help us stand when we are not able to do so on our own; the people who believe in our abilities even when we ourselves doubt them, the people who stay with us even after seeing us in our worst forms are the diamonds that we should separate from the bulk of coal around us. We should make constant efforts to polish these diamonds and make sure that they are shining to the best of their abilities when we are celebrating life.

All I am trying to say is irrespective of the fact that there is no guarantee that these people may be with us in the future taking into account the uncertainties of life, we should make sure that we do everything in our power to maintain our relationships with them and be there for them to the best of our abilities. We should always remember the fact that when it was dark, they chose to use their spark and shine to show us the way.

Life’s a Gift…. Enjoy it….

Quiet often with the experiences that we have had, all of us detest the life that has been given to us by the Almighty. By experiences I meant, something as minor as a job problem, an issue with a loved one or something as major as a health issue.

While facing these challenges we humans, build up a defense mechanism around us that we feel will keep us safe and no longer allow anyone or anything to affect us. An example of this would be to mould oneself to be totally materialistic and not emotional etc.

I too was headed the same way until a fortnight ago when I woke up post my surgery. Attempting to check myself thoroughly in that semi conscious state to see if everything was fine, the only words that came out were “O, Allah give me good health". Trust me at that point of time good health was the only thing that mattered. The correct blink of the eye, being able to stand on your feet, the proper movement of the various joints etc was more precious than anything else on the globe.

The point I am driving here is that very often while pursuing our worldly goals, we often forget how blessed we are with gifts whose value we don’t recognize, with the gift of people who love us and who pray for us and who we hurt because of our stupid beliefs etc. All of us have had our share of life defining moments and we should take a breather and regularly revisit that moment as they help us in realizing the true value of these gifts. By doing so we will get a chance to reiterate to ourselves that “Life’s a Gift…. Enjoy it….”

The moment when reality dawns and the illusions wither away....

Since the last couple of days I have been wanting to write about this particular thought that has been on my mind, however was not able to express it in words. The thought that I want to talk about is one which is common amongst all of us, the fear of that moment when reality dawns upon us and the illusions we live in wither away.

Let me try to explain it with the help of the a most common scenes from our films, the first one being where the guy in love dreads the moment when the girl of his dream will reply to his proposal. The second one where a girl forced into an anti-social profession fears the moment when she comes face to face with her family after years of separation.

It’s these similar feelings of anxiety, the fear of the unknown that occupy most of our thoughts and pose a road blocks in our life’s journey. A lot of time is wasted in clearing these blocks and the most amazing fact is that these blocks just don’t stop resurfacing. No matter how hard we try to make these road blocks disappear permanently, we just aren’t able to.

After a long walk on the path of self destruction because of this fear, I concluded that dreading and running away to avoid that moment of fear wouldn’t get me to that zone of peace that I was wishing to be in. The only thing that would get me into that zone would be to live that moment we dread and get an answer to our favorite question “what will happen if?”

Some of you may disagree and say that it wouldn’t be worth an attempt, however on the basis of my personal experience I would say that it does help. Even if the answer to that particular question would not be the one you expected, it does free your mind, your soul and enables you to explore new possibilities…..

So let’s explore the world of new possibilities and declare our freedom by living that moment we dread the most, that moment when reality dawns and the illusions wither away.

Have we started walking yet?

A learned scholar had once said “life’s a journey”.

In any journey, at the start we walk slowly, but once familiar with the path we increase the pace and eventually end up running till the time we reach our destination.

During the course of the journey each and every traveler comes across a zillion road blocks in various forms, however the default setting of crossing over any road block and continuing the journey takes us through. Some one has rightly said in a movie “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and it doesn’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.You or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But it isn’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward”

Nearly at the end of the third decade of my journey, after encountering some road blocks, I was constantly telling myself that I am done running. However the other day while taking a breather from my self proclaimed run, I just happened to spot two ace runners. The first one was this lady who was trying to smoothen this rocky path she had walked on for nearly half of a century so that her son’s journey is easier. The second one being this deaf and dumb middle aged guy, who despite of his physical challenges was enjoying every moment of his journey to the fullest at a shopping mall with his loved ones.

These amazing people made me realize that though I had concluded that I was done running, the fact was that I hadn’t even started walking. The point that I wanna make here is that whenever, we “the travelers” feel that we are done running we should look around and ask ourselves a question “Have we started walking yet?”

It’s the worst when we doubt our own……

12.32 pm Tuesday afternoon as the train headed towards Thane from Matunga station, I started looking for a seat to sit and start reading the newspaper that I had just purchased. My eyes spotted a vacant window seat but the sight of a black office bag adjacent to the window halted my hurry to reach the seat.

Whose bag is this? I asked, while attempting to identify a suspicious face amongst the various faces around, that I had made a mental note of. “This bag is mine son!” said an old man seated exactly opposite the vacant seat reading some notes he had made out of an astrology book.

Though relieved, I continued observing the bag’s owner with suspicious thoughts such as “If this was his bag, why didn’t he keep it with him initially? Why do people have to be so inconsiderate about other people’s feelings? Etc. While I was playing the role of this security guard screening for individuals with anti social elements, the man continued the reading of his notes with this look of internal peace and calm on his face.

Two more stations passed and I continued the screening without knowing the reason or the objective behind this one off routine. It could have been a spontaneous reaction to the recent horrifying news about the blast at the famous bakery in pune.Finally attempting to divert my thoughts to the newspaper, I started updating my self about our “Little Master’s” latest achievement at the Eden in Kolkatta but without success. This guilt of picturing this elderly man as anti social started killing me from inside.

As I exited the station on completing a significant part of my journey to office, the guilt of doubting some one who was my own accompanied me towards it. Though, I had never met him before nor were we related, we shared the same soil at our respective roots (both of us were Indians).

As the day went by I couldn’t get the afternoon’s incident off my mind. It got me thinking that how many times in our lives do we doubt the ones close to us. Let’s say a married couple doubting each other’s loyalty, a friend doubting the other’s intentions in a matter of common interest etc…We do it all the time.

I am yet to meet anyone who claims that he has never doubted anyone nor will I be able to comment on the reason why we do it, guess we are born that way. Those of us who would give this topic a thought may want to press the panic button as there is no permanent solution available. However once we know that the problem exists or may crop up in the future we can make provisions to minimise the impact e.g. make conscious efforts to give others a fair chance before forming a notion that would be with us that moment onwards, proactively make efforts to set and maintain an open and a truth based foundation in all our relationships etc….

All I am trying to say is be open minded, demand and give others the required space, be true to yourself and reiterate again and again that It’s the worst when we doubt our own……

Choose right.... while you wait.

Beep.. beep.. 1 message received..
“God upsets our plans only to set his plans for us. He does this because we see our present and plan our future, but God sees our future and plans our PRESENT..”

Post reading this message that I had just received on my mobile, the first question that struck my mind was “Do we, the creations of the Almighty just have to wait while he executes his plans for us?” The answer was yes!!!

What does the word “wait” mean? If asked this question few weeks ago I would have written wait means stay, remain, hang around, linger etc…. but thanks to one of my life’s leading lady who said “ Mo! writing about something does not mean just using it's synonyms and forming some sentences with them..it means actually giving the subject a deep thought and writing exactly what u believe and feel about it.”

Hours and hours of logical thinking later, it was clear that I was just a pawn in the masters game plan and there was no way that I could change that fact. However the one thing that was in my hands was, what I chose to do while I was waiting for my destiny to be fulfilled. The choice I had in front of me was to crib and complain about something that I wanted but did not get as it was not a part of my destiny or to put myself out there, to live every day to the fullest without any fear of the unseen, put in efforts I never thought I could for something of prime importance to me.

You’ll say “Man proposes, God disposes” if it’s not a part of his plan for us, then why do we choose the latter? The answer to that is that we should also remember that God says “Put in your best and ask me for the rest?” We should remember the fact that he cares for his creations more than what we can actually imagine. So what if a guy pulls of some impossible feats and still isn’t lucky to end up with the girl of his dreams, his efforts were not a waste as the success of the various attempts made him discover certain abilities that he never thought were in him. His choice to give it his best despite of the fact that he knew the end result was not a total waste.

Let’s take one more instance… There was this person who knew that the days of her worldly life were limited. She could have chosen to cry and feel miserable about the condition she was in, but she chose otherwise. She started planning and executing the ideas that would bring her loved ones some happiness which she would not live to witness. Some say she did not get anything for her efforts but I beg to differ on that, not only did she succeed in getting a smile on the faces of the people she loved at the same time she taught them life’s biggest lesson “We can get happiness by not living just for ourselves but also for others as well”

I urge the readers of this article to give what I said above a thought, "choose right! while you wait", bear in mind that by putting ourselves out there and with genuine efforts we may be able to convince our “Creator” to reconsider his plans for us and bless us with success in our attempts if found appropriate.

"I am all alone"......choose to make this feeling go away

I am all alone!!! This is the thought that plays in the mind of a person without a date on the day of love, an individual on a train headed towards the city of dreams , an orphan child , a team member without a supportive boss in the hour of need, a girl taking the first step in her connubial life etc…

Till the start of last year, the quote that “Man is a social animal” influenced my actions. Meeting new people, constant efforts to add more and more names to my list of friends was that activity that offered security and confirmed my belief that I would never be alone.

Post my interaction with some most amazingly unique human beings, hearing about a few of them from someone close and observing a few with the naked eye, I concluded that it was about time my set of existing beliefs required a fresh evaluation. Intense discussions and experience sharing sessions with the members of the “Mo” clan a new set of beliefs were written.

Humans allow their prototype to be around them for convenience, once a breakthrough is made with the one offering more the existing one is discarded. Also the belief that all I need is the confidence in my abilities to cross any hurdle that I find in my path, I concluded that I will never be alone because my set of beliefs will always be there with me.

But today after losing someone so special, more important to me then I thought she was, the foundation of my recently set beliefs was totally shaken from it's roots.Today I feel like a kid whose teacher sent him to a corn field to find out the true meaning of the word “Love”. I did not realize that the person I am referring to was that soul mate I was searching for. So what if she was one of my closest friends, who said the person who you aspire to spend your life with or are currently with in your life’s journey, has to be your soul mate.

With her no longer with me in person, I feel helpless, I feel that any compensation paid to get her back is less, I feel all alone….. I ask the readers of this article “do we humans feel all alone only till the time we find our soul mate, the one person who completes us? Is there anything else that can make that feeling of loneliness fade away?”

If the answer to the above raised questions is “Yes!” for the first and a “No!” for the latter, then let’s not be like the kid who passes by and ignores the best bunch of corn in the field, hoping to find an even better one,finally realizing that he has already passed the best. Look deeper, pay more attention to the people around you and if fortunate you will find and get a chance to be with and cherish the one who completes you. Do it before it's too late and never ever feel alone...